by Abigail Van
Buren
("Yahoo News," February 5, 2003)
DEAR ABBY:
Your
advice to "Happy Hindu in the Bible Belt," whose Christian friends tuck
religious pamphlets into holiday boxes of baked goodies in an effort to
convert her, was off base. You advised her to ignore the brochures and
enjoy
the goodies -- unless she had lost her appetite -- in which case she
should
donate the treats to a shelter or take them to the office.
I disagree.
That
lovely lady should politely tell her friends that she likes her own
religion
and ask them to please stop with the religious literature. If they
continue,
she should end the friendship. If converting her is more important than
her
friendship, there IS no friendship. -- BEEN THERE, TOO, IN BEND, ORE.
DEAR B.T.T.:
Your
answer is better than mine. Interestingly, "Happy Hindu's" problem
appears to
be widespread. That letter brought in a bushel of mail. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I
am
Jewish. A friend from college kept sending me "Jesus Loves You"
Christmas
cards. I told her it hurt my feelings that she didn't respect my
beliefs. I
made it clear that I am Jewish and will always remain Jewish, as it is
my
religious and cultural background.
Like "Hindu,"
I know
that some of these gestures are well-intentioned, but I would never
dream of
sending my friend Hanukkah cards. I send cards that say "Season's
Greetings"
or "Happy Holidays." It's good to learn about other people's beliefs and
be
open to them -- but not when they're forced on you. -- JILL IN
SACRAMENTO
DEAR JILL: I
regret
that I did not advise "Happy Hindu" to be as outspoken and upfront as
you and
"Been There."
DEAR ABBY:
Your
answer to "Happy Hindu" offended me as a Christian. If the circumstances
were
different, would you tell me to ignore my Buddhist friends, but enjoy
their
treats if I didn't gag first? Why is evangelical Christianity the only
religion we shouldn't tolerate? -- MARY S., ELLIJAY, GA.
DEAR MARY S.:
It's
not. Anyone who proselytizes is treading on "sacred ground." It's
regarded as
offensive, even if it is heartfelt.
DEAR ABBY:
Hard as
it is to live with some evangelicals, they are easier to take than
people who
feel justified in resorting to violence against those they feel are
"lost."
You have to understand that with evangelicals, it is an article of
faith, and
it's their Christian duty to preach their version of the Gospel,
especially if
they care about you and are genuinely concerned about your soul. --
DOLLY IN
LACEY, WASH.
DEAR DOLLY: I
am
aware of that. A devout and very sweet lady once told me she was "sad"
because
she loved me and knew she wouldn't see me in heaven. I asked her why.
She
said, "Because you haven't been saved!" Once I got over the shock that
her
heaven was segregated, I assured her that even though I might not be in
hers,
she would definitely be in mine, so please not to worry any further.
DEAR ABBY:
Many
people have stopped me on the street or come to my door with religious
tracts,
so I had cards printed with the following: "I never told my own religion
nor
scrutinized that of another. I never attempted to make a convert, nor
wished
to change another's creed. I am satisfied that yours must be an
excellent
religion to have produced a life of such exemplary virtue and
correctness. For
it is in our lives, not from our words, that our religion must be
judged."
(Thomas Jefferson to Mrs. H. Harrison Smith, 1816) -- KAYE IN N.Y.C.
DEAR KAYE: I
agree
with his timeless and profound conclusion.
